How An Old Song Taught Me To Write Better Flash Fiction

Writing Flash Fiction can be tricky. Adhering to publisher size limitations or word count requirements is necessary for article acceptance; any noncompliance results in rejection.

When that number of words is small, often limited to five hundred, the author must capture your attention quickly yet not reveal the ending until the very last words by crafting a compelling ending that keeps the audience thinking long after the story has ended. With luck, it will bring a smile to the face of the reader.

Much has been written on the subject of how to become a better writer. But the experts aren’t always in agreement. Some experts say add more description, others say eliminate unnecessary words. Therein lies the problem. If you write too many words, you risk boring the reader to death. Too few words and you fail to get your message across.

Almost anyone who has spent their time learning to write better, whether in college classes or online forums, has heard the story, “For Sale, Baby Shoes, Never Worn.” Folklore claims that author Earnest Hemingway made a $10 bet with a colleague that he could write a complete story in six words.

One problem with the legend is that Hemingway did not invent the story. A similar version, “For Sale, Baby Carriage, Never Used,” was published in a newspaper called Terse Tales of the Town in 1906, long before Hemingway made his bet. I’m hoping that Hemingway’s slightly altered version about shoes was enough to avoid a plagiarism suit.

But we are not here to debate the exercise’s origin. The example, regardless of whether you use carriage or shoes, is intended to teach us that readers do not need to be told every detail. We must let them imagine some things.

In the above six-word story, people may conclude that something unexpected happened to the baby, and the seller was distressed or forlorn.

We really don’t know. Maybe something bad happened, maybe not? There are numerous logical explanations. Maybe the shoes were the wrong size or the wrong color? Maybe the parents received two carriages and only needed one?

The six-word storyteller didn’t need to tell you more. The objective was to let the reader fill in the blanks.

The alternative would be to elaborate by saying, Beautiful brown leather baby shoes. Size 0. Fine gold stitching around the ankle and across the toes. Light brown, scratch-resistant leather soles. Never worn. Given as a gift. Our little boy outgrew them before he ever had a chance to wear the shoes.

The longer description certainly gives more information. It answers all the questions the reader might have. A detailed explanation, like the longer example, is perfect if your goal is to sell the shoes. Yes, it paints a picture, but where is the intrigue? How does it make me think?

Now let’s talk about the audience. The short, six-word version appeals to everyone, even if you do not need baby shoes. It raises questions in every reader’s mind.

The longer version only appeals to people who have an interest in baby shoes.

Fiction vs. Non-fiction

One other point to consider when writing fiction is imagination. Early in my career, I worked as a technical writer. When you write a technical manual, accuracy is critical. Leaving details to the reader’s imagination is a recipe for disaster.

As a fictional author, I shouldn’t have to tell the reader everything. I only need to pique the reader’s imagination. With each of my new books, I have worked to improve my storytelling by involving the reader. Still, my old habits resurfaced, prompting me to be precise and remove ambiguity.

Then, a while ago, I wrote an article for one of my business blogs. It was a non-fiction article about a fictional story. My requirement was for the extraordinary, something educating readers beyond referencing statistics and facts. I chose to write a story about an old Country & Western song that changed the course of popular music back in 1960. That song, El Paso by Marty Robbins, is a classic that broke the music charts in several genres.

El Paso is a tale about a man who falls in love with a cantina dancer. His unrequited love for her would be his demise. The song won numerous awards and is still played on radio stations worldwide, some 60 years after its release.

The lyrics of the song are only 466 words long, comparable to a typical Flash Fiction story. Unlike most popular songs, there is no chorus and no repetition. And like many popular songs, the story ends with a predictable outcome. Still, the story is so well told that anyone who listens is captivated by the fairytale. Not a word is wasted. Each one adds to the tale, evoking emotion and painting a picture.

You don’t have to be a country music fan or a fan of music in general to see why the lyrics work.

After listening to the song several times, I saw the need to learn storytelling from a quick start, a concise middle, and a dramatic ending without using more words than necessary.

Since that article, I have used the lyrics of that song as an example of how to write a fictional story that engages the reader. When I am writing the scenes for my latest novel, I will sometimes open a second window on my computer. I find it helps remind me to tell a simple, compact story from beginning to end. No wasted words, no giving the reader more than they need to imagine every scene.

A great song, and a perfect Flash Fiction story.

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For those of you who have read this far down, you can find a copy of the lyrics of this would-be Flash Fiction story at: https://www.songlyrics.com/marty-robbins/el-paso-lyrics/

Or even better, a video version of the song El Paso, sung by Marty Robbins on YouTube, can be found using this link: https://youtu.be/KAO7vs_Q9is?si=9zMlj6hj4-ctCGFF

It’s 4 minutes and 43 seconds long and well worth a listen. You don’t have to like the music just the way the story is told.